Dear Sherry,
I’ve been dating someone long distance for the last year and I want to break it off. He’s scheduled to come here in October, should I do it once he is here or before he buys his ticket?
The Break Up Queen, 31
Definitely before he buys his ticket. There is nothing more awful then spending the time and money to come visit someone only to find out they don’t actually want you there. Give the guy the opportunity to save his vacation days for something worth it, not for getting broken up with. If you really must do it face-to-face, do it over Skype.
I always believe that when breaking up with someone, treat them and speak with them in the same manner you would expect someone to be doing it to you. Don’t give them the fake, it’s not you it’s me thing. Everyone knows that’s a lie. Be honest about what the issues are and why you don’t think it’s working for you anymore. Give them a chance to speak as well and if they want to rebuttal the issues, allow them to. Everyone needs to be heard on the topic and you both should be given the opportunity to speak. Even if you agree with each other on the issues or not. And always remember. He may be blindsided by this so you need to be extra sensitive towards his feelings.
Best of luck,
Sherry Ahkami
Have a dating question we can feature on this column? Contact Sherry at bootcamp2love@hotmail.com.
